Crafty Update...

I am sitting here…attempting to do some crafty therapy…after receiving devastating news.  Frozen…just staring at the mounds of product and beautiful things that arrived during my weeks of vacation.  Unable to even wrap my mind around the fun I get to have working with it all, because I am stuck in a moment from yesterday.  News we have been dreading for months now.

Many of you may know, our nearly 3-year-old Goddaughter has been living with us since April 1, 2024.  A supposed 3-month stay turned into almost 1-1/2 years.  Before that April, we were her caregivers 2-3 days a week when she wasn’t in daycare since she was 2 months old.  She is our family.  More than a Goddaughter, she is our actual daughter in every sense of the word.  She is funny, incredibly smart and verbally articulate, sweet, kind and courageous…and I’m not being biased.  We were there for her first steps, her first words, her first and second birthdays, riding a bike, celebrating poo-poo potties, Christmas mornings, pretend ballet recitals and eating pretend spaghetti, meeting her hero Minnie Mouse for the first time, Wednesday church dinners, movie snuggle nights and so much more.  

We have also been her constant love and support in the inconsistent world that is her mother.  Missed visits, beyond questionable parenting and life choices, mental health mismanagement, instability with living and work situations, revolving door of ‘step-daddies’, etc… We spent a year and a half coaching, encouraging, supporting, helping her mother navigate life as a single mom after her birth.  Unfortunately, mental health issues from past traumas overruled her desire to create a healthy home environment for her daughter…it’s ‘easier’ (her words) to fall back into the old habits, the old ‘friends’, the old choices.  Those choices have led to threats, verbal abuse, violence, and behaviors we will not tolerate around our family.  All her choices led to a mental break and our Goddaughter being in our home full-time. 

Over the last 5 months, she has been with her mom more often to help with the transition of the possibility of returning there.  Even with the consistency of our home, the things she experiences, along with the confusion and stress of being with her mom, have resulted in behavior issues.  She is struggling with interpersonal relationships at school.  Defiant behaviors with authority.  Regressed with potty training and healthy eating.  She is no longer presents as the happy-go-lucky child she truly is.  We continue to love her, guide her through her struggles, and hold her when she’s sad and doesn’t understand why.  We know she is still that wonderful little girl; she’s just drowning beneath her confusing emotions.  It’s been painful to watch her go through this.

Now, the county has no choice but to return her to her mother. Despite many suggesting it isn’t the time, she’s not capable, it’s not a good idea, they have no choice.  We have no choice.  

Next week, we must hand over our sweet, smart, sassy, funny, trusting little girl over to the unknown.  She must leave her home, where she feels safe.  Loved.  Nutured.  Cared for.  The confusion, fear, abandonment, and ultimately anger she will feel with us being gone and out of her life is more than I can handle.  The grief of losing a child…one still living, just on the other side of town, is unfathomable.  

So now…I will do only what I can for the next 5 days until she leaves.  I love her…and pray.  I pray to God for our Goddaughter’s safety.  I pray he gives her peace.  I pray we have given her enough of a foundation these last nearly 3 years, that she will prevail over all that is put in front of her.  I pray for her mother’s mental health.  I pray he helps my family navigate through this grief of loss and we become stronger together.  I know God has a plan and I must trust in it.  

That is all I can do….love and trust.